Liz had woken up today feeling the same as the day before; bored, unmotivated, and wanting nothing more than to get back to her sweet, sweet bed as soon as possible. She got up, put on her pants and white conservative blouse, her knee-high boots, and headed out the door. It was probably 9 fifteen, but she didn’t bother to take out her phone and look at the clock; She was probably already late, and like every day, she didn’t give a crap. The twerps could wait.
After a short drive along the highroad, she arrived at FLK University. She drove inside the gates and onto the faculty parking and got out. She could see some lecturers, not running, but hurdling to the courses building. The urge to look down on them in disdain was quickly dismissed, once she remembered how she’d used to hurdle, back when she was a mere lecturer. Not anymore. If her whole classroom lined up at the University principal’s office and asked to kick her out, their cries would go unheard. She was the Dean, and the students now needed to take whatever shit the Dean gave them.
She walked, as slowly as she could, to her class, and if the giant clock on the building’s door was accurate, had started almost twenty minutes ago.
She walked into the class room, and the students, like in a military school, all shut up at once. This kind of respect didn’t take only a high position, but a firm hand. After gaining a reputation for being “The queen of F’s” no student ever dared to as much look at her sideways. Who’d have known that the most rewarding aspect about being a dean was making the little twerps lives hell. Not her. She thought it would be the most joyous and rewarding job of all, to be a university lecturer. But after years of fighting with students, and yelling and sucking up to Deans and to parents and to—her worst nightmare—students, her love for teaching died, her love for students died, all what was left was a sulky attitude and an appetite for revenge.
She sat in her chair and gave the room a slow, and scornful scan, for no reason, except to make her class a bit nervous. That was when she saw it, an empty chair. One of her students was late; a smile crept on her mouth, realizing this wasn’t going to be another boring day. Most of her students knew her better by now. They knew that any disobedience or any lacking would result in either a failing, or, if the convicted had showed they had enough ass kissing power, she’d spare them. None of her students ever broke rules anymore, so today she’d make the most of this rare, welcomed occasion.
“Good morning clas—” She was interrupted by the door opening, even slamming open.
A girl of hers strode down the classroom, heading for her chair without giving Liz a glance.
“Excuse me,” she said, not loudly but sternly.
The girl looked her way, but didn’t stop for a second, and continued to her chair and sat. “Yeah.”
Liz scanned the girl with the brunette long hair from head to shoe, and failed to remember her name. She wore a black blouse, jeans, and black sneakers.
“What time is it,” Liz said coldly.
“Class time,” The girl said, seeming to resist adding a duh.
Some giggles erupted, for a split second before Liz’s gaze suppressed them down. “You’re late.”
“So, you’re late all the time prof.” The girl rolled her eyes with a smile. “I just saw you walk in.”
Was she new or something? Either that or she was dropping out someday soon and wanted to leave with a bang. Liz didn’t know what to say to that, and she felt her muscles tense. “What’s your name.”
“Ally.” The girl tilted her head, her smile obviously sarcastic now.
The student’s faces seemed as excited as Liz’s was tensed and as Ally’s was cold. Liz knew she wasn’t the only one that would appreciate the action that would happen here today. But for some reason, Liz didn’t feel comfortable pulling her come to my office card this soon. Something about the girl’s eyes, was having a strange affect her. She was, beautiful, to say the least, with her silky brunet hair and her…green, maybe hazel, she was too far to detriment her eye color. Liz hated beauty when it was paired with this kind of attitude. Maybe hated was the wrong word, more like feared.
“I don’t know if you’re new or something. But tardiness isn’t acceptable here. I expect you to be here 8 am sharp next lecture.” She said, having no trouble exercising her stern tone. “Understood.”
“Not new, and I will be here at 8, if you are here…at 8…sharp.” Ally raised her eyes, seeming bored with the whole exchange and taking out her text book.
She couldn’t let that slide. Liz had been around long enough to know, that if one little brat stepped out of line, soon, they all run out of line. “Ally.”
She didn’t respond, but merely raised her eyes.
“Come to my office after your last lecture today.” She said, looking straight into her eyes, and felt necessary to deliver her warning. “Or you’ll fail this class.”
She saw the girl’s eyebrows rise as Ohhhhs and aahhhs erupted across the classroom, before Liz shouted, “Silence.” They shut up. “All open your books on chapter 9.”
The students did just that, including Ally, who put one leg over the other and silently opened her textbook. Liz gave her lecture as same as every day, stopping every now and then to ask if there were any questions, and knowing that no one would take her up on the offer. She had stopped caring about her lecturing skills long ago. She’d just narrate whatever was written in today’s chapter, as coldly as she could, then give the students their assignments, then leave.
Along her lecturing, she’d look at the crowed every now and then, and her eyes would meet Ally’s. She had no idea why, but the stare that the girl gave her every time their eyes met put her at unease. None of her students looked at her like that. There was a sense of…contempt, in her cold look. Just another student, just another brat. Don’t let her get into your head, Liz thought. at the end of the day, you’ll put her in her place. She gave the girl a last quick scan from her brunet hair to her black sneaker as the girl dangled her foot in boredom.
The bell rang while Liz was in the middle of a point, and the students, remembering that the bell doesn’t dismiss you I dismiss you rule that Liz had imposed, didn’t dare move a muscle, except for one.
With scornful eyes, Liz watched Ally grab her textbook and walk out the door. She looked at the students who were expectedly watching her, waiting for a reaction. “You’re dismissed,” she said, feeling some of the power that her words usually caried slip away.
She snatched her purse and headed for her next lecture.
Along the day, she failed miserably in her attempt to get the brat out of her head. While giving her third and final lecture of the day, she stumbled over her speech more than once. And found herself searching the classroom carefully to see if Ally was in that lecture as well. Luckily, she wasn’t.
She was soon back in her office, where at first, she first relived, for her relief to be quickly replaced by anxiety. She sat there and graded some assignments to keep herself busy.
This wasn’t a new situation. On the contrary. A student had misbehaved, heavily, and needed to be corrected. She’d done this a hundred times, and each time she’d enjoyed it more than the one before. Then why the hell was she nervous now. There was a difference. The girl had showed no signs of accepting a scolding, let alone a debasing one like the Dean usually enjoyed giving.
The ones she enjoyed debasing the most were the girls, the pretty good dressers. The girls’ crimes ranged from getting a bad grade on an exam or an assignment, to missing lectures or wondering off in her class.
She would make them sit there, and make her intention to fail them bluntly clear so they knew what was at stake. Then she’d start. She’d belittle them, framing it all in a coat of concern for their future. She’d call them stupid and spoiled, and that they should pay better attention to their studies rather than prioritizing parties and social events, and their disgusting interest in their looks.
Some girls took it silently then promised to be better and thanked Liz for her effort. They knew how to suck-up, a skill that the Dean had taken advantage off by taking the girls’ numbers and making them fetch things for her every other day, like papers from professors, or to park her car closer to the building once a lot was free, and if she didn’t have anything important, she could always use a coffee without bothering with the trip. Some girls teared up under the insults, which made Liz feel bad enough to spare them the rest of her humiliating lecture and treatment but not bad enough to apologize. And some girls, of course, eventually, when her words were harshest, would tell her to go to hell and stomp their way out of her office. These were the girls that were more well-off and collage to them was just one of the ways they could go, with the other being their father’s company.
Finally, cutting her reassuring memories, the door knocked. That was a good sign, that she bothered to knock the door.
she straightened her back, making herself find a comfortable, confident position. “Come in,” she said.
The door opened and Ally walked in. She made her way to Liz’s disk and sunk herself into one of the two chairs, before rising her eyebrows, as if to say, “Mind telling me why I’m here.”
Not wanting to go straight into the subject, Liz said, “It’s four o’clock, is your schedule that packed. You’re first lecture was on eight and your last on three.”
“No,” Ally said bluntly. “I finished two hours ago, but wanted to catch up with my friends.”
“I see,” she said. Ally had already managed to get under her skin.
“Why am I here prof.” Ally sighed and rolled her eyes.
“Right there,” Liz said, seeing an opening. “Your attitude in class, your attitude in general, is unacceptable Ally.”
As if hearing something that amused and surprised her, Ally’s mouth curled into a smile as she slowly put one long leg over the other and leaned forward. “My attitude, is unacceptable? That’s rich of you to say.”
“What’s that supposed to mean.”
“You tell me,” she said with less amusement.
This wasn’t going well. Liz decided against making her threats so soon, as she fidgeted in her seat. “Ally, I would start speaking more respectfully if I were you.”
“I gotta be honest,” Ally shrugged. “I’m speaking to you with the maximum respect I can give to someone like you.”
“Ally,” Liz shouted despite herself. Not once in the long five years she’d sat in this chair had a girl managed to irritate her this much, this fast. Liz would shout when she felt she was losing control, and she needed to regain that control. “One more rude gesture, one more smart remark and I swear to god, I’ll fail you right here right now.”
Ally recoiled in her seat, her face tensed with shock. That threat did it.
“Understood?” Liz said.
“You’re gonna fail me for—” She was interrupted by an uncontrollable irritated shake of her head. “For what?”
“For bei—”
“You know when I registered for your class, I was so excited to meet you.” She said with narrowed eyes. The surprising sentence made Liz forgive the interruption. “When I heard that the course is being thought by a dean. Not many deans keep teaching after that promotion, but you did. And when they told me that you didn’t take shit from anybody and that you ran your class like a military base, I was more excited.”
The words dug deep into Liz’s heart. Many praised her ever since she’d become dean, but she knew those praises to be ingenuine, unlike the ones the girl who obviously didn’t like her gave now.
“So try to imagine my disappointment,” Ally said. “To come that first lecture and see this.” And she stretched her arms gesturing at Liz.
Liz took a deep breath.
“You always arrive late, and still somehow have the audacity to blister your students and demand that they arrive on time.” Ally said with uncontrollable anger as she counted on her fingers. “You give the most pathetic lectures I’ve ever attended since I stepped foot in this university. And you talk to us like you’ve got the biggest prom shoved u—” She managed to seal her mouth before finishing. She put a fake smile and reclined in her chair, trying to calm herself.
Liz wanted to say, anything, but the barrage of insults that the young girl had launched at her forbid her from opening her mouth. The logical thing to be done now was to fail her. She’d basically screamed at her like she was a misbehaving little brat, and Liz knew that if she would have the girl give her any respect, what she’d just done couldn’t go unpunished. But the terrifying fact was, that Liz was afraid to say a single word. She dreaded at the fact of telling Ally that she’d fail her, she dreaded what she would do in her irritated, fuming state.
“So,” Ally said, seeming more relaxed. “When you’re ready to become a decent, honorable dean and professor, worthy of her title, ask me here again and tell me to pay you more respect.” She uncrossed her legs and stood up, giving Liz a final reassuring nod. “Okay Liz?” She turned without waiting for an answer.
The steps that Ally started taking to the door felt like they were taking a decade. Liz couldn’t ignore this. The best-case scenario was her students seeing Ally arrive at class the next day, late, and realize that the Dean couldn’t tame her. And even if Liz forced the girl to respect the lecture time by doing so herself, that would be even worse. It would be obvious who schooled whom and corrected whose behavior. The worst-case scenario was Ally telling her friends what happened here, how she told the Dean off and how the Dean sat there and took it like an idiot. Rumors spread quickly, and everyone would believe them, given that Ally was still there, arriving at whatever time she pleased. Good luck gaining the respect of the students after that.
“Ally.” Liz said but it came as a weak pathetic whisper, that somehow got heard by the girl just before she reached for the doorknob.
She turned toward Liz with a sigh, carrying an empty expression.
Liz mustered up her courage, and spoke the words as confidently and firmly as she could, “Consider yourself failed.”
The empty expression on the girl’s face quickly changed to a hurt, shocked one. Her eyes widened, like she would never have anticipated to hear what she’d just heard. But the expression didn’t last for long, as a scorn got into Ally’s face as she took a step forward, and aimed her disgusted eyes at Liz. “You’re pathetic.”
Liz had heard worse. If this was the peak of Ally’s outrage before she was gone for good, then so be it. But Liz’s hope was cut short when Ally took another step, her body seemed too rigid. She looked like she would love nothing more than to lunge at Liz and beat the shit out of her. She wasn’t that stupid was she?
“Stay where you are young lady. There’re worse things than getting an F.” Liz warned. “Don’t do any…” she was interrupted by what she saw.
Almost effortlessly, Ally bent down, rising her foot up before slipping her shoe out of her foot, then throwing it at Liz, aiming and landing the shot right at her forehead. After hitting her, the black sneaker landed in her lap. Liz sat there motionless, as Ally gave her a last stare of pure disgust. She was more afraid than ever, but to her luck, Ally just turned on her socked heel then walked out the room.
Even after Ally left, Liz staid put, trying to breath steadily and regain her composer. She looked down and her eyes met the black shoe in her lap. She could have her expelled for that. She should get her expelled for that. Throwing her shoe at the Dean; who the heel did she think she was. Yet again, Liz did fail her—
But she was out of order. But I did act kind of hypocritically. Telling her she’s in trouble when I myself don—
Why the hell was she thinking about those things? Was it news to her that she was being a bitch to her students? She was always a hypocritical bitch, and she enjoyed it. GUILT! Really Liz. For the girl that just threw her shoe at you. Liz stared into the shoe with disgust, before grabbing the laces with the tips of her fingers and tossing it to the ground; there was an unpleasant smell erupting from it.
Having no more business, she stood and walked out of her office. The whole ride home, she had an uncomfortable feeling at the top of her stomach. It wasn’t just guilt. She’d felt guilt before, and it would leave her as soon as soon as she reached home. That didn’t happen this time. She took a bath then threw herself at her sofa, to lounge in front of the TV as she did every night, all the while the feeling stuck. For some reason she remembered her high school days, reluctantly. She was an A+ student from her first tell her last day. She hadn’t become Dean easily, she was smart, and a hard worker. Specifically, she remembered Norma and Tally, the two bitches who made her last year a living hell. They weren’t the most popular, nor the most beautiful, but they had a witty brain and a smart mouth, that somehow never failed to give insults. A teacher’s pet, they called her, and had the rest of her class calling her that too. Because of them, she was never able to speak confidently or answer a teacher’s question in class again, cause every time she did, they’d have some mean, clever insult to blast her with and shut her up. She shook her head, shaking the memories out before she’d think about her humiliating fight with them. She reminded herself that they were probably working in some strip club or some fast-food chain now. They were stupid, and didn’t have enough beauty to compensate for that.
But she’d done alright herself; she had been and still was, relatively attractive. Sure she’d gained some weight here and there, but looking at her body now it was still hot, better than most women in their late thirties.
She tried to focus on the show again. She managed to do so for a while, before Ally jumped into her view again, with the disgusted gaze she’d given her last, before storming out of her office with one shoe.
Was that why she couldn’t kick her out of her head. Did she remind her of them? They were brunets, but Ally was ten times more attractive than them. Her blue eyes fitted perfectly in her Caucasian skinned face. She was a beauty, she had to give the rude bitch that, she was a beauty, face and body. Now why the fuck are you thinking about her face and body Liz? She grabbed one of her bellows and shoved her face in it.
She sat up and stormed to her bedroom. Seeing no hope to enjoy whatever she was watching; she threw herself in bed and tried to sleep. Whatever it was, guilt or shame, nothing a nap wouldn’t fix.
She woke up two hours later, and the nap didn’t fix a thing, cause the first thought that entered her mind when she woke up, was Ally’s sneaker. It suddenly became an anxious thought that it was there lying in her office. Why? She had no idea, but it was an anxious thought. Tomorrow she’d throw it out. If the brat wanted it, she shouldn’t have hit her with it in the first place.
The next day at work, during her lecture, Liz found herself constantly eyeing the classroom door. She must’ve waited for ten minutes for the door to open and for Ally to walk through it, before remembering that she wasn’t coming. Looking at her students now, a renewed gust of cold guilt ran through her. She looked at the girls. They were a second-year student. They, like Ally, were the same age that her daughter would’ve been, if she had one; maybe younger in a few years. Ally was someone’s daughter, making it through life through hard work. And she’d just failed her for, basically, her personal enjoyment.
You don’t know that. she could be a lousy student for all you know. Liz decided to go and look up Ally’s grade in the last exam as soon as the lecture ended.
The bill rang, she dismissed her students and walked to her office. To her shock, she ran into Ally in the way there. The girl was walking alone, when her and Liz’s eyes met. The girl looked concisely making the decision to keep a bland face, but a hint of her contempt showed, making Liz shake slightly and fasten her pace. Upon entering her office, and when she made it to her disk, she was greeted with the black sneaker laying there beside her chair. She kicked it aside with her foot and sat in her chair. She took out the papers for the last exam she’d given, and started rummaging through them. When she finally made it to Ally’s paper, a disappointed look crept to her face. Ally had an A-; which would be an A+ if any other professor in this university was the one grading that test, as Liz had always taken it too hard in grading papers. She threw the papers back in the disk and reclined in her chair.
Instinctively her eyes made their way down, to eventually find themselves meeting the sneakers. It was as if it was taunting her. She raised her hand and lightly touched the bruise on her forehead.
Suddenly she was back in high school again. She’d just walked after Tally and Nora to the bathrooms. She stood in front of them, stomped her foot on the ground and told them to leave her alone. When they laughed it off and gave her one of their smart insulting remarks, she pushed Nora against the wall and called her a bitch. Big mistake that was. She remembered how Nora pined her in a head-lock and how Tally started punching her until she cried. It was the day she’d found out she couldn’t beat a pigeon in a fight, and that she had the physical tolerance of a baby. They made her beg them to stop, and they left her on the bathroom floor curling in a ball of tears.
That was two months before graduation, and those two months have been the worst in Liz’s life. When Tally and Nora cornered her in Gym class the next day and gave her two notebooks, instructing her to solve their assignment, she didn’t bother resist. She knew that she’d either do what she was told or be beaten, and the reward was that they wouldn’t take it hard on her in class anymore. They kept their word, and they milked her word for all what it was worth. She did their assignments, and at dinners they sat there like princesses while she grabbed their food. She convinced her mother to swing by their house, which wasn’t far away from hers, and give them a ride to school with Liz every day; at least they made sure to be nice to her while they were in the car.
Those two months had proved to her that she was a wimp. And that clarified something, that since she was too weak to stand up to those bitches in that way, she had better reach a position in her life, where she wouldn’t have too, where power would be hers, no matter how much smart witted insults someone threw at her.
She felt her knees weaken, as she sunk to the ground, crawling the short couple of steps that were between her and Ally’s shoe; the girl she was punishing. She couldn’t explain it. She couldn’t think of a single reason why her shivering hands grabbed that shoe. She just sat on her knees and held it, resting it on her lap. A sickening urge inside her made her raise it to her face, and hold its opening an inches away from her nose. A light foot smell erupted from it; that didn’t compel her to move it away, but to move it closer. She’d been barely breathing up until that point, but now she took a deep sniff, allowing the girl’s foot smell to smoother her nostrils and enter her lungs. She took another sniff, imagining Ally standing over her, giving her that disgusted look, like she was a piece of scum.
Waking up, and realizing what she was doing, she threw the shoe aside, as forcefully and as far as she could. You can’t apologize to a shoe Liz. Unable to imagine what Ally would think if she’d seen what she had been doing, Liz took a deep, fresh breath, and stood up. She’d made three choices: apologize to Ally, and tell her that she wasn’t going to fail her. Return the damn sneaker. And make it up to her.
She put the shoe in her bag then rushed into her bathroom to give her face a quick splash of water. She walked to her next lecture.
The next day Liz didn’t have any lectures, and so spent half of it trying to locate Ally’s house. She called dorm’s management, only to find that Ally didn’t live in the dorms. She looked at her Facebook page, and after superficial investigation, found nothing. She ended up calling the University’s student affairs, and asking for the girl’s number. She decided to take her last resort and call her, ask her where she lived.
Sat on her sofa, Liz grabbed her phone in one hand, the paper she’d jotted the number on in the other, and froze. She took a couple of deep breaths, trying to muster up the courage to start. She dialed. The phone rang for a minute, which Liz spent fretting and biting a nail.
Ally’s voice came through. “Hello.”
Liz took a breath then said. “Hey.”
“…Who is this?”
“Huh.” Liz snickered nervously. “It’s…it’s Liz.”
“Liz who—oh” The coldest oh that Liz had ever heard.
Liz waited, but the other end had went silent. “…How are you.”
“I’m…huhu.” Ally snickered. “I’m good.” She said, obviously waiting for her to get to the point.
“You forgot your, ahh,” Liz said, privately cringing at herself. “Your shoe, in my office.”
She could almost see the shocked face that the girl on the other line had. She didn’t forget her shoe, she threw it, straight at her face, and then walked out without it. She would give anything to know what the Ally was thinking now.
“I did?” Ally said. “I can swing by your office tomorrow; I can take it from you then.”
“That could work,” Liz said. “Or, I can…are you home now.” She said, already thinking about a possible excuse to personally deliver her shoe to her.
“Yeah,” Ally said, confused. “I’m home.”
“Maybe, I can come over, and give it to you,” she said. “I have a visit, near your area anyway, so I thought…you know. I can come by.” She had no idea where her area was, but she hoped Ally wouldn’t focus on that.
After a long silence, Ally said, “Sure, why not. I’ll send you my location.”
“Great.” Liz said, making sure not to show any of her excitement.
“Alright, see you then. And thank you, for…” Ally seemed to resist a giggle. “Holding on it for me, or whatever.”
“My pleasure,” she said, then looked up the celling almost cursing at her stupid answers. “I’ll swing by soon.”
Ally ended the call. Liz threw her phone aside, leaned her head back against the sofa’s back and took a long-needed breath. Afraid that she would start overthinking the whole thing and end up giving up, she lunged to her feet and went to get dressed. She wore a casual pair of jeans, and a purple, turtleneck sweater, and her black flats. She didn’t want to look too formal.
She checked the location; it was an hour-and-a-half drive. The long drive made her think one last time why was she about to travel one and a half hours to return a girl her smelly sneaker. Cause it's the right thing to do that’s why? She hissed at herself, denying to have any other…agendas.
She grabbed her purse, in which was the shoe, then got out of the house, into her car, and started driving.
On the high road, while she had nothing to do other than focus on the horizon, she found herself thinking of Ally, the way she talked, the way she spoke to her in the office, calling her out, the disgusted look she’d given her. She’d looked at her like she was…disappointed. She looked cute disappointed, Liz thought. How she had slipped her shoe out so effortlessly and managed to land her shot at her forehead.
It was hard to live under two bullies’ thumps for so long and still be the same when they set you free. Liz had wrestled with the idea for too long, then accepted it; they’d done something to her. During those months that she’d spent basically being their bitch, every night, she had trouble sleeping. She’d lay there in bed for hours, and couldn’t help but think about the things they’d said to her, the insults and the remarks and their dumb jokes. She’d think about how she stood there like an idiot and took it. One thing she’d found to work in making her go to sleep, was thinking about it, differently. She found herself romanticizing it, sexualizing it. She’d masturbate while she fantasized about them standing above her, calling her a dumb bitch, and an ugly cow.
Thankfully, those fantasies had only started at the end of the year, a couple of weeks before they’d departed, to not see each other ever again. They had left, but the fantasies stayed, ever so slightly.
Driving up to that girl’s house now, Liz knew that a part of what she hoped to gain was a sliver of that fantasy coming to life. But she liked to believe that this was a tiny part, compared to the real reason, which was doing the right thing: Apologize, and give the girl her shoe back.
She was soon in the girl’s neighborhood, and it was…not the worst neighborhood she’d seen. It was alright. She found the house and parked in front of it. It was a one-story house, nothing special. It has a small yard on its left, and looked quite neglected, nothing compared to her three-story villa and her big garden. Bet Tally and Nora lived in houses like that.
She walked up the porch and stood at the door, fretting at the decision she was about to make. She knew why she was here; she knew what she wanted, and she dreaded the fact that she might soon get it. She shook her head, and knocked. Some anxious seconds passed before she heard footsteps behind the door. It opened, and the girl that hadn’t left Liz’s thoughts ever since she’d met her stood in front of her. She wore a white t-shirt, and a gray stretch-knit pajama pants that reached just below the knee, and fluffy slippers and white ankle socks. Liz raised her eyes from the girl’s slippers to meet her blue eyes that stared at her questionably.
“Hey,” Liz said.
“Hey.” Ally smiled, before nodding slowly.
Not seeing any signs of Ally welcoming her in, Liz held up her purse and took the shoe out of it, before offering it to Ally.
Ally took it silently, doing her best not to let that smile escalate into a giggle. “Thanks.” She stood there and threw it to the side.
Both women stayed silent for a moment, Liz didn’t know what to do other than standing there and looking at Ally with a stupid smile on her face, hoping she’d eventually have some manners. I just drove 300 miles to deliver you your damn shoe, invite me in, brat.
Ally just stared at her questionably, as if she was trying to figure out what the woman wanted, as if to know if she’d really driven this far for this trivial task. After ten more seconds, she raised her eyebrows. “You wanna come in.”
“I guess, why not,” Liz said, containing her excitement. She walked in, giving the room a quick scan. Her eyes were assaulted by what she saw. At college, she considered her roommate to be a missy pig, but looking at Ally’s living room, Liz roommate was a neat freak. The living room was casually furnished, one brown sofa with a brown armchair beside it, in front of them was a coffee table then a medium-sized wooden TV stand. On the sofa was a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, on the arm chair were some papers, some of them crumpled some of them not, on the coffee table were a couple bags of chips and a soda along with some dirty coffee mugs. She had white carpet, stained on more places than one. Multiple pairs of sneakers and flip-flops were scattered here and there.
Pig, she thought. “Nice place,” she said.
“Didn’t know that deans knew sarcasm.” Ally walked to her armchair then crashed onto it.
“Hmm.” Liz stood at the door, not knowing what to do.
“Make yourself at home.” Ally rolled her eyes, seeming sick of Liz’s awkwardness.
Liz smiled nervously then sat at the sofa, taking the liberty to push Ally’s pants away, and getting a little hot over it. Ally looked at her, waiting patiently, the sole of one slippered foot resting against the armchair, the other resting on the ground by the heel rocking impatiently. Ally waited, and when Liz showed no signs of starting a conversation, she said, “It’s usually not that messy.” She gestured around the place, twirling her brunette hair around her fingers. “it’s the end of the week, and I usually tidy up on weekends, meaning tomorrow.”
“Oh.” Liz nodded, looking around with unimpressed eyes.
“Don’t look so appalled now.” The girl smirked. “Not all of us can get maids.”
“Hey…” Liz protested, but quickly shut up. She did have a maid. “Whatever.” She smiled. “Between university and, I don’t know if you work, it’s understandable.”
“I do work, actually, part time.” Ally said, sounding a bit passive aggressive. “Took two days off to study for your exam on Saturday,” she gave a fake smile. “Those two days off went to waist, thanks to someone.”
Liz’s eyes went downwards with shame. The girl was doing her best to be polite, despite her more-than-deserved hate. She was living in a bad neighborhood, had to work a part time job with all her studies, and now she had to deal with Liz’s crap. “That’s…actually why I’m here.”
The girl’s tongue pushed against her cheek, waiting for her to continue.
Liz continued, “I’m not failing you.” She said and waited for a reaction, that never came. The girl just looked at her. “I came here to apologize.”
“Did you now,” she said. She didn’t look pleased, not upset, but not pleased either, just…indifferent.
“Yeah.” Liz said. “It was, unreasonable of me and I acted—”
“I know,” she said. “I was there.” She sighed and reclined in her chair, as if to try to control an outburst. She extended her legs forward on the ground, crossing her ankles and put her hands behind her head. Her body was trying to relax but her blue eyes seemed angry.
“What…” Liz said. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said roughly. “Is that all?”
She understood her. Ally obviously wanted to give her a piece of her mind but was too afraid, given that the last time she did so she got an F. The respect that Liz had fought for before was standing in the way now. “Speak freely, Ally. I’m here to make it up to you. I’m not gonna try to hurt you.”
“I would’ve studied.” Ally threw her arms in the air. “I would’ve studied for the damn exam in those last two days. Thanks to you now I don’t have time, and the house is a mess.” She gave the coffee table in front of her a light kick.
“Well…” Liz said. “Don’t worry. I will take it easy with my grading.”
Ally gave her a brief, fake smile, showing some of the disdain Liz was slowly getting intoxicated by, then rolled her eyes in irritation. She was an excellent student. In Ally’s mind, she wouldn’t need her help, if Liz hadn’t pulled that crap. Sensing an opportunity, and getting hot and bothered by the girl’s aggressive, slightly dismissive attitude, Liz fretted about whether or not to say her next line.
“Or maybe…” Liz said. “Maybe I can help you in some other way.”
Ally looked at her again with narrowed eyes. “Yeah?”
“I can…” She took breath. “I can, help around the house…”
Ally’s surprised reaction didn’t help Liz’s anxiety. She looked like she heard what she least expected.
“You know.” Liz fidgeted. “I can, tidy up the place, so you can study.”
Ally still silent, her eyes still confused, but her mouth slightly curled into an amused smile, she straightened her poster, like she wanted to get what was being said right.
“That is of course, if you don’t want me to just, give you special treatment in the exam.” She made sure to use the word special treatment, hoping that the words would make her feel weak if she took the first offer.
“You…” Ally finally spoke. “Want to…tidy up.” She looked around the catastrophic apartment. “This place…my place.”
Liz smiled and looked around with a smile, showing it off as it was nothing. “Yeah, why not. It’s not that bad really.” She looked at her again.
The girl’s face was beyond baffled, and was equally amused. For a second, her narrowed blue eyes looked like they were studying Liz, trying to figure her game out. trying to figure out the Dean’s gain from cleaning this girl’s stinking apartment. If only she knew. She’d never expect that what the thirty-six-year-old dean was getting from cleaning this girl’s apartment, was…cleaning this girl’s apartment, and the embarrassment that came with it. “What do you say,” Liz said.
The girl smiled while holding her arms in the air, as if giving up on realizing the Deans intent. “I mean, can’t say no to that.” She got to her feet, and stood in the middle of the living room, taking a look around her mess, that the dean was supposed to fix. “So, you’ll clean this room.”
“Yeah.” Liz nodded vigorously.
Ally’s hands got to her hips, as a confident smile made it to her face. “What about the kitchen, and my room.”
Liz felt a tingle at the sight in front of her. Ally standing above her like that, testing how much she could push her. “Sure, those too.” She wanted to get it through to her. You can push me far Ally.
The girl’s face lightened up, like she’d spotted a prize. She pursed her lips standing on foot and resting the other by her toes, then said with an intentionally, slightly spoiled tone. “What about the bathroom.”
“You’re pushing it.” Liz said, feeling like she should put up a small fight, even though the suggestion made her gush. Imagining herself on her knees, scrubbing away at the dirty bathroom tiles of this beauty, with her towering above her—she shook her head, not wanting to lose herself into fantasies while Ally was right in front of her.
“I mean, a girl must have a clean bathroom. It’s good for my…” Ally couldn’t resist her giggle and maintain a demanding attitude. “Studying mentality, or whatever, I have to insist.”
“Okay,” Liz said. “Whatever you say.”
“Okay.” Ally giggled. She walked towards the kitchen and opened some drawers. “I think you’ll find everything you need here.” She looked back toward Liz, who was still sitting on her place at the sofa. “Guess I’ll go inside and study then. I’ll check up on you later, prof.” She said her last word with a slight, mocking wiggle of her head.
Liz could only nod, and Ally went inside shaking her head and smiling, allowing Liz to throw herself back on the sofa’s backrest. She looked up at the ceiling, trying to get the tension that had been building in her limps to leave. She took a look at the room she was to clean. It would probably take her more than an hour, maybe less, maybe a lot more, she had no way of knowing, as she hadn’t cleaned her own apartment for years; but she was going to clean the apartment of a girl she barely knew, an attractive, confidant girl. Never in her life had Liz coherently wanted and feared something that much. She was the Dean. What would anyone say if they saw what she was about to do. But no one would see, Ally would tell no one. How do you know that? She didn’t know that. She didn’t know if Ally would keep all of this to herself or if she’d brag about it in the middle of her next lecture. And that was exactly why Liz needed to get up and get to work, she knew she wanted to do this, she knew she’d do it no matter what, what was the point of fretting about what it would escalate to.
She got up slipped her feet out of her flats and put them on near the door. She got a bag from the kitchen, deciding to start with the garbage that was thrown all over the room. She picked up one piece of trash after the other, bags of chips, cartoon coffee cups, soda cans, a pizza box. She fixed the cushions and dusted off the coffee table and the station, then started picking up the shoes. Flats and flip-flops and sneakers. Seeing no shoe closet she assorted them beside the door, taking her sweet time in putting every single pair, like she was handling something important. She resisted the urge to repeat what she did in her office. Not that Ally would see her or anything, but smelling her shoe, while the girl was basically right there in her room, made it all the more real, humiliating, wrong. She passed a flip-flop past her noes quickly and sat it back quicker, then got up.
She went to the kitchen, relieved that it only needed a quick mobbing here and there, with some plates needing a wash. She finished up, then walked to the corner of the living room to take a wide-scale view of her work. This is pretty good, not too bad for Lizzy. She smirked. The before and after picture were incomparable. She tried not to think of the disappointment that while she cleaned up, Ally hadn’t checked up on her once. She was hopping that she’d come out once or twice, and…maybe, give her pointers or something, or just…an affirming remark, like: good work, keep it up. But she didn’t bemoan on Ally neglecting her that much. She knew that even if her mind gushed at the idea, there was no knowing how it would feel if Ally did do all of that.
She looked at the corridor, feeling her next task taunting her from a distance. Was she really going to clean the girl’s bathroom? She looked to the kitchen, seeing an opportunity to delay the demeaning task, and get an excuse to go check on Ally.
She walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. She got out some milk, some eggs, and everything else necessary for making a crepe. She started making it, trying not to think of how all of this was making her feel like a mom. She poured a glass of milk then walked to Ally’s room. She stood there for a second, with her hands full with a glass of milk and a plate of crepes. She took a deep breath, then kicked the door lightly a couple of times.
“…Come in.” Ally shouted from inside.
She pushed the handle down with her elbow then pushed the door open.
She blushed with pride at Ally’s shocked eyes and widening smile. Ally was sitting Indian style on her bed with a text book in her lap, her slippers by her bed. “What did you do.” Ally said with a high-pitched snicker.
“Made you…a snack.” Liz smiled politely and walked into the room. She looked at Ally, not knowing where to put them.
“Give me.” Ally reached her hands, the confused smile still on her face. She put the plate down on the bed and held the milk in her hand. “Crepe and milk, what am I ten,” she said.
“Sorry.” Liz looked disappointed. “I…I didn’t know what you liked.”
Ally looked more surprised. “Geez, I’m joking. These are fine,” She cut out a piece of crepe with her fork and took a bite. “Emm. These are good.” she said through a mouthful. “Good job.”
“Thank you.” Liz blushed, taking the liberty to sit on the bed beside her.
Liz tried not to fidget as she sat there, her hands in her lap like a shy little girl, while Ally ate a couple more bites and drank some of her milk, all the while looking at Liz with her studying eyes. While she was being examined, Liz couldn’t help but marvel at the beauty beside her, as this was the closest they had ever been to each other. How did she look so vibrant, with her bland gray pajama pants and t-shirt?
Ally raised an eyebrow, probably sensing that the Dean was looking at her weirdly, before she said, “Well, since you’re here, you can start on my room.”
She didn’t know if it was a joke, a tease, or an order, and she didn’t care. She nodded then got up. The room was no tidier than the rest the house. Liz ignored the surprised smile Ally’s face held at seeing her get up at command, and got to work. She gave it a quick scan. Clothes were everywhere, books where everywhere, more on her table there were more dirty carton and glass coffee cups, flip-flops and shoes and socks were everywhere. She looked at the laundry basket in the open wall-closet, it was practically stacked, with some leggings hanging out of it. The leggings made Liz imagine Ally in leggings, a picture she would very like to see but couldn’t think of now as Ally was watching her with hawk eyes.
She started picking up the clothes from the ground, and piling them up on top of the already stuffed basket. Walking up to every item of cloth then stooping repeatedly to pick it up proved tiring, so she sunk to her knees. The room wasn’t that big, so she started crawling, now from one sock to another, gathering them between her arm and her chest. Consequently, she was hit with the unsavory smell of Ally’s sweat. While she crawled around, she thought if this was how a mother would spoil her daughter. Did they spend their day slaving away like that, picking after their teenage daughters while they sat above them on the bed? She made sure not to look in Ally’s direction while she thought about it. Whatever the look she was giving her while she crawled around after her socks, Liz didn’t want to see it. And she ought to stop comparing the girl to a daughter; it made the situation, if possible, even creepier.
While picking up a blue sock near the bed, Liz took a random look up, and her eyes froze upon noticing Ally’s eyes transfixed on her, her mouth still chewing on her crepe. Her eyes had a sense of…finality in them, as if to adjust to a new reality. Liz just froze in her spot, looking up at the girl towering above her. It felt right to look at her from such a position, it made her sharp features and blue eyes even more glorious, if possible, even more commanding.
She felt like she was asking her. “Why are you doing this. What’s in it for you.” The girl wasn’t stupid. She knew Liz wasn’t that nice. She had to be milking her brain, wondering about what outrages reason the Dean of her university might have, to be crawling in her bedroom collecting her dirty socks. Her sigh and the widening of her eyes suggested that she was too tired to think about it anymore. She gave up. Liz saw her give her a final look, before Ally rolled her eyes and got back to her crepe. Liz looked down, feeling a bit of shame, however not knowing why exactly, before she gathered the rest of the socks and shoved them in the basket, the combined smell of dirty clothes and the warmth of them against her arm made her hot, like she was being assaulted with all the fragrances of her adored. She finished tidying up the basket quickly then got away from it, feeling unsafe to stay near it.
“Take this one too.” She heard Ally say from behind her.
She looked back. Ally didn’t look at her, she wasn’t offering her anything in her hand. She was about to ask her what she was talking about when she noticed her white-socked-foot was dangling over the bed, stretched in her direction.
She didn’t expect the first order to be this blunt, this rude. She wasn’t even looking at her. She just offered her foot like a spoiled little brat and expected her to take off her sock for her, like she was some kind of servant that would crawl around her room picking her dirty socks for her. Fuck.
Like she’d expected, an order from Ally felt humiliating, and yet so damn good. She so much wanted to tell her “Fuck off.” and “Yes Ma’am” at the same time.
Should she comply, to this rude, smug demand. She sat there on the ground and thought, while eyeing the socked-foot extended towards her. The leg was dangling and the thigh rested on the bed, so only the top of her foot showed. Maybe she should just tell her to piss off.
Liz’s shoulders slouched, as she stopped pretending to herself like her decision wasn’t already made, especially after Ally gave her foot a slight wiggle to hurry her up. She crawled towards her, then with a gentle movement as if handling a baby, with one hand on her ankle and one under her sole, she lifted the foot up to her eye level. Ally gave a faint giggle, that made Liz’s shivering heart feel weaker. There was nothing like a girl almost half your age ordering you to do something then mocking you for doing it. Liz eyes stared at the sole of the girl’s socked foot. It looked dirty, its white fabric stained with spots of dark, sweat spots. Not thinking, she took a deep breath, that filled her nostrils with a tormenting stench. Wanting to get this over with, as it was hurting her as much as it excited her, she slipped her fingers between Ally’s ankle and her dirty sock, and pulled off. She paused, holding the sock in her hand and looking up at Ally, waiting for the princess to present the other foot from under her ass; she never did. Ally put her plate aside on the bed and sipped on the last of her milk and looked at her, with no expression.
“Ally,” she said.
“What.” Ally narrowed her eyes. “OH.” She looked up and smiled, obviously acting as she’d just remembered.
Aren't I humiliating myself enough for you?
Ally lifted herself slightly and allowed her other foot to escape from under her, then presented it with…unintentional force, accidently bumping Liz’s chin. Liz ignored it, and so ignored the tormenting smile Ally was giving her. She just looked at the foot and took the sweaty sock off.
“In the hamper.” Ally said casually, pointing at the wall-closet.
In the hamper, I know in the damn hamper. The girl was already having fun ordering her around needlessly. This was a bad sign. Liz still didn’t know how far she wanted this thing to go.
She put the socks in the laundry basket, then made sure to stand. She had spent enough time crawling around. She needed to regain some of her strength. If she gave away freely to this urge of hers, and to that smirking brunet that had just showed she was more than willing to take advantage of it, she’d end up giving the girl pony rides around the house. That sound’s exciting—she shook her head. She looked at Ally, who was looking at her with a smirk, like she was slowly understanding the fight that was waging inside her.
“Anything else, Ma’am.” She said with a chuckle, trying to make some of it out as a joke, but to her terror, Ally didn’t laugh, even her smirk diapered, replaced by a confused face that was appalled by what it was witnessing. Ally shook her head slightly.
With her muscles tensed, Liz grabbed the plate and the empty milk glass then walked out the room. She washed them in the kitchen, while thinking about what she should do now. The fact that there was one more task on her agenda didn’t pass by her, but she wasn’t sure that she wanted to do it; she had enough, at least for now. She prepared herself to leave. She walked back to Ally’s room, and peered through the already open door. Ally wasn’t doing anything, she was just sitting there, staring at the ground from her spot on the bed, like she was thinking.
“Ally,” Liz said.
Ally looked up startled. “Yeah?”
“Think I’ll head out.” She said, praying that Ally wouldn’t make any further requests.
Ally ran two fast palms through her hair then nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you later.”
Liz nodded and gave a faint smile, before walking out to the living room, putting her shoes, then leaving. This was a bad decision. Coming here was a bad decision.
She was the damn Dean. That’s a position she’d worked for most of her life, and her most motivating drive in working for it had been so that she wouldn’t have to take shit from anyone, least of all a college girl in her early twenties.
But that feeling that she had in there. From the moment she had walked in till the moment she’d left; she hadn’t felt like that in a while. And the tingle in her stomach and spine, while she looked up at Ally, and saw her sharp features, her blue eyes gazing down; that, she had never felt. The image of the girl sitting on the bed above her was still fresh in her mind. The smell of her foot was still, somehow lingering under her nose. The disgusted look, the disappointed look, all the appalled looks that Ally had to give still taunted her.
Heading home, she wished for one thing: that she’d have the power to not come here ever again. And at the same time, somehow, she already knew, that her wish would go unfulfilled.
Two days later:
It was the day of the exam. Liz woke up. The fact of her having to go to work had always bored her. She usually wanted to stay in bed. Not today though. Today, as soon as she opened her eyes, she was filled with tremendous excitement, and a greater amount of dread. She was going to see Ally again. Immediately determining that no amount of worrying or thinking would change the outcome, that eventually she’d go put on her clothes and go to her job, whether she liked it or not, she just did it.
She was soon at the university. She walked into her classroom, and her eyes immediately started searching for Ally. She wasn’t there yet. She was late. Great.
The Class had no idea on whether or not she’d show up. They hadn’t yet known the outcome of their little talk. They didn’t have to wait long, as Ally walked into the classroom a minute after her. She’d again broken her rule and arrived after her. She looked at the students and saw that they were w
